What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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