wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Boobs speak an international language.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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