It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
