Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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