I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
