after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
