Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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