once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
