Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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