real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it hurts more in the daytime
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
