i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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