one might say we're banned from that church
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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