you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
