I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
