New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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