I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
