i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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