I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
