i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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