2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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