The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
