Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
please come you make the beer taste better
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
