Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
