So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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