Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
