I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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