Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
