Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
