honey bunches of taint.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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