Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
