She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
