16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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