: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Vodka?
Forever.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
