it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
