I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
