dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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