Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
