Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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