dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
