ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
