Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
They took my balls.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
