Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
