Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I could fuck to npr.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
