dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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