when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
