Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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