I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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