i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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