It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
