I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
